ネックリフトとメリット
ネックリフトは、首のタルミ、しわを取るために行う、首だけに限局したフェイスリフトです。
ネックリフトは、頚部除皺術、原則的にメスを使う方法になります。
切開する部位は、耳介の前方から後方にかけて切開する方法、頚部を切開する方法、両方を切開する方法の3種類がありますが、術式はクリニックやドクターにより異なります。
プチ整形も考えられますが、首のシワや首の弛みを治療する場合は、ヒアルロン酸注入や糸によるリフト手術などでは治療が難しく頚部除皺術、ネックリフト手術が必要になります。
熟練した特殊な技術が必要であるために、手術を行っているクリニックが限られています。
技術力、豊富な経験のあるドクター、名医を選択して下さい。
ネックリフトの名医と有名病院
ネックリフトの名医と有名病院は前述した名医の条件をクリアしている事が前提となります。
ネックリフトの症例数が多いだけではなく、クオリティの高いネックリフトの症例数を多く積んでいる名医や有名病院を選択しなければなりません。
ご紹介をご希望であればお気軽にお問い合わせください。
ネックリフトの症例写真
ネックリフトの美容整形・手術・治療
ネックリフトの整形では、技術が低いドクター・クリニックを選びますと失敗してしまうリスク・トラブルがございます。カウンセリングが5分で終了したり、アフターケアが杜撰なクリニックも多いです。
こういった失敗・修正・再手術を回避するために、よりリスクを回避した名医選びをご相談窓口で提案しております。
ご希望の方はお気軽にご連絡いただければと思います。
ネックリフト失敗・修正・再手術
ネックリフトの手術では、プチ整形やケーブルスーチャーなどの糸によるフェイスリフトをしたが思った効果がでなかったので、ネックリフト手術をしたという方が多いです。経験と技術を要する手術です。耳の後ろ側からうなじ部分にかけて切開を行いますが傷跡になります。傷跡はシワに沿って切開をしますので、目立たなくなりますが、これは縫合技術のない医師が行うと無残な状態になります。
ネックリフトで失敗3つと修正手術が上手い病院のご紹介で詳細に失敗例について解説しております。
技術的にもドクターの経験値に大きく左右する事がありますので、是非輪郭形成、頭蓋学外科の名医を選択しなければなりません。入れ替え・修正・再手術を防ぐために、はじめから失敗しないために名医を選択して頂く事が大切です。
こだわる名医は必要であればドレーン、抗生剤点滴2種類などを使うなどして感染率を限りなく0％にする事が出来ます。
失敗や修正を防ぐには？
ネックリフトを行うときには、ダウンタイムの説明やリスクの説明、アフターケアなどがしっかりしているクリニックがポイントになります。
失敗例もたくさんあって、皮膚が凹凸になったり糸の干渉や、しびれや知覚鈍麻傷跡などの神経の損傷リスクもあります。
ネックリフトの修正をするとなると、かなり難しいので最初に時間をかけてじっくりとクリニックや医師を探すことが大切です。
失敗や修正を防ぐには、麻酔科標榜医と執刀医のしっかりとした役割分担、安全性基準を満たしているクリニック、十分な治療時間とアフターケアなどがあるかを確認しておきます。
他にも、SMASリフトやリガメントリフトが正しく出来ているかも重要で、これも一瞬だけ触るだけの手術をするところもあります。
これだと持続力がないため修正が必要になります。
傷跡にたいして極細糸の使用や、その時に形成外科的な縫合をしてくれるかも見極めるポイントです。
ダーマボンドもありますが、これは傷跡の仕上がりが悪くなります。
感染防止に対して、ドレーンや抗生剤点滴を使っていて、糸を使うときは安全性が高い材料かも重要です。
ネックリフトの効果・仕上がり・アフターケア
ネックリフトの美容整形の効果・仕上がりを評価する上では、皮膚の状態や効果を確認する必要があります。
効果が無い、引きつれ、麻痺、傷跡などによる失敗から修正・再手術を余儀なくされる方も多く相談に来られています。
アフターケアとしては、血流が良くなる事のない様に安静にお過ごしください。
ご相談窓口では傷跡を少なくするためのコツ・内服薬についてご説明しておりますのでお問い合わせください。
ネックリフトの整形を受けられる際には、以下の様な効果・仕上がりに注意する必要があります。
カタチ 触感 持続性 傷跡 合併症・後遺症 痛み 術後 経過
ネックリフトのトラブル・リスク・デメリット・後遺症
ネックリフトのデメリットをまとめます。
ネックリフトは首のたるみやしわを解消することができる美容修正術です。
一昔前は、首のたるみは皮膚の一部を切り取って修正する方法がとられていたのですが、この場合は傷跡が残ってしまうリスクがあります。
現在は一般的にネックリフトは糸で吊り上げる方法がとられています。
この修正法だと、傷跡が出来ず、自然に綺麗に仕上がるというメリットがありますが、やはり未熟な医師が行うと、皮膚の一部がひきつれるなどの失敗がありますので、熟練した医師がおこなわなければならないでしょう。
他にもネックリフトの修正方法としてボトックス菌をたるんだ首に注射する方法があります。筋肉がしびれた状態になり、首のたるみがピンと伸ばされます。
しかしこれもボトックス注射は効果の継続する時期が定まっており、時間の経過とともに次第に元の状態になってしまうという欠点があります。
そのためボトックス注射によるネックリフトは繰り返し行っていかなければならないでしょう。またボトックス注射の量が多いほど、首の筋肉がひきつれた状態になるため、不自然さが残ってしまうこともあるでしょう。
ネックリフトは他の部位に比べると後遺症が出やすい部分でもあるため、やはり医師の技術がすべてという部分もありますので、医師選びは慎重に行った方がよいでしょう。
技術が低いドクター・クリニックを選択しますと、そのリスクを最大化してしまい失敗してしまいます。ネックリフトの手術における代表的なリスク・デメリットとしては、効果が無い・ひきつれ・傷跡・神経の損傷（しびれ・知覚鈍麻）・後戻り・糸の干渉・皮膚の凸凹などが考えられます。
若返り・アンチエイジングの美容整形と言っても様々な術式がありますので、治療を受けられる前に名医条件を理解して下さい。
ご相談窓口でも説明いたしております。
腫れ・ダウンタイムについては、本格的な整形のダウンタイムはおよそ２週間程度、プチ整形であれば１週間程度必要です。
ダウンタイム中に外出をしなければならない場合には、マスクなどでお顔を隠す事をお薦めいたします。
ちなみに希望通りの仕上がりとならなかった場合には、修正・再手術が出来るかどうかを含めて診察へ行かれる必要があるのですが、その際は名医を選択しなければ修正・再手術は成功しないと考えて下さい。
若返り・アンチエイジングの整形でのトラブル・リスク・デメリット・後遺症については下記をご参照ください。
関連する治療法>>>ネックリフトのリスクとは？
ネックリフトの部位・箇所
ネックリフトの美容整形によって、オーダーメイドでお悩みを改善できますが、失敗を回避するためにもクオリティの高い手術を選択する様にして下さい。
ご相談窓口にて名医の条件、手術別のリスク、効果・仕上がりについてを解説いたしますので、お気軽にご相談頂ければと思います。
若返り・アンチエイジングの美容整形における、お悩み・部位（箇所）については下記をご参照ください。
ネックリフトのダウンタイム・腫れ
腫れ・ダウンタイムはプチ整形の若返り治療で１週間、切るリフトは２週間程度が目安となります。
ダウンタイム中は安静にし、適宜冷やしたり、外出時にはマスクでカバーされる事をお薦めいたします。
ネックリフトの料金相場と安い価格・費用
料金相場はプチ整形なら６０万円で、値段は安いと４０万程度。
ネックリフトのまとめとオススメ
プチ整形から切るフェイスリフトまで様々な手術方法がありますので、バリエーションの豊富な病院・名医を選び、クオリティの高い手術を選択する様にして下さい。
オススメの名医を全国でリストアップしておりますので、ご希望の方はお気軽にご連絡いただければ幸いです。
- ACR療法の失敗3つと修正手術が上手い病院のご紹介 - 2017年12月31日
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Australian politicians are almost always opting
to fly with Qantas on taxpayer-funded trips, despite Virgin offering cheaper tickets.
Federal MPs flew with the national carrier for 80 per cent of work trips last year despite it not always being the cheapest route, according to travel data provided to the government.
While politicians and their staffers are required to book the cheapest flight, it
also has to be the most efficient, with Qantas
offering the most routes between major cities.
MPs are banned from accruing frequent flyer points
on taxpayer-funded trips like ordinary Aussies can, but they can can receive lifetime status
credits, which allows access to airport lounges and flight upgrades.
‘How else can one explain the extraordinary dominance of Qantas in securing bookings by parliamentarians and their staff?’ Myriam Robin wrote in an opinion piece for
the Australian Financial Review.
‘There’s nothing like accruing status credits on someone else’s dime.’
Transport Minister Catherine King has since committed to a review of flight bookings by government officials which will
be conducted by the Department of Finance this year, despite there being just two months left of 2024.
Politicians’ preference for Qantas may also be put down to
the airline’s exclusive invite-only ‘Chairman’s Lounge’.
Australian politicians are almost always opting to fly with Qantas on taxpayer-funded trips,
despite Virgin offering cheaper tickets. (pictured is Anthony Albanese, with former
Qantas boss Alan Joyce, and fiancee Jodie Haydon)
Read More
EXCLUSIVE
The Flying Kanga-RORT – why you’re footing the bill as airlines wine and dine
pollies in VIP club
Daily Mail Australia in August revealed that nearly every single federal
politician in the country has accepted free membership of the club.
Qantas and the Albanese government have both denied the airline enjoys any disproportionate level
of influence over the country’s political classes.
A Daily Mail Australia audit of the members’ interest
registers – in both the House of Representatives and the Senate – revealed
almost 93 per cent of the nation’s leaders have been ‘gifted’ membership
to the lavish, all-inclusive lounge.
The high profile ranks of government giftees include Prime Minister Anthony Albanese as
well as every member of his 22-person Cabinet,
his seven-person Outer Ministry and all 12 assistant ministers.
While most politicians declared their Qantas’ privileges as
a ‘gift’, Labor MP Marion Scrymgour listed her membership
as her ‘Chairman Lounge entitlement’.
Daily Mail Australia in August revealed that nearly every single federal politician in the
country has accepted free membership of Qantas’ exclusive Chairman’s Lounge.
And it’s not just politicians on the take, with more than 60 MPs –
including Marles, Chalmers, King, Bill Shorten, Zali Steggall and Tanya Plibersek – disclosing their spouses
have also been granted unfettered, independent access to Qantas’ luxurious members
only lounge.
Often touted as ‘the most exclusive club in the country’, membership to the Chairman’s Lounge has long been veiled
in secrecy.
Even the entrances to each of the country’s six opulent VIP clubs – in Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane,
Adelaide, Canberra and Perth airports – are suitably
discreet.
Though, once inside, the designer lounges are immediately more ostentatious, with free à la carte fine dining, table service, a decadent selection of
wines and Champagne and a discreet army of dedicated lounge attendants.
Membership to the club is ‘priceless’ – it cannot be bought for any amount of money nor obtained via any amount of frequent flyers points.
Instead, each member is hand-picked and approved by the company’s chief
executive and chairman.
Qantas
premium lifestyle penthouse in klcc
Joker: Folie À Deux — starring Lady Gaga and Joaquin Phoenix — has garnered the lowest CinemaScore in comic book movie history as the film bombed at the box office on opening
night.
The psychological musical thriller — which has been criticized
as ‘bleak’ and ‘disappointing’ — officially released in theaters on Friday,
October 4, but it only raked in $20 million at the domestic box office,
per The Hollywood Reporter.
Phoenix reprised his role as the Joker in the sequel, which
had earned him an Oscar for his portrayal in the 2019 film, while
Gaga took on the role of Harleen Lee Quinzel (Harley Quinn).
However, Joker: Folie À Deux has been given a D rating on CinemaScore —
the lowest score for a comic book movie.
Madame Web — which notably also flopped in theaters earlier this year and also received terrible reviews — holds a higher score with a
C+.
Joker: Folie À Deux – starring Lady Gaga and Joaquin Phoenix –
has garnered the lowest CinemaScore in comic book movie history as the
film bombs at the box office on opening night
It received a D rating on CinemaScore – the lowest score for a comic
book movie
On Rotten Tomatoes, the movie currently holds an audience
score of 31% and a critic score of 32%.
The sequel is projected to rake in less that $50 million at the
domestic box office during the entirety of opening weekend, per The Hollywood Reporter.
Read More
Joker: Folie À Deux is branded ‘bleak’ and the ‘most disappointing follow-up’ by critics
Weeks ago, the movie had been projected to bring in around $70 million – but the number has since
drastically dropped.
Joker (2019) notably opened with $96.2 million when the film first released in theaters – and eventually landed a little over $1 billion in the global box office.
The first movie – which was also directed by Todd Phillips – had a
budget of between $55 and $70 million. However, the budget increased for Folie À Deux to around $200 million.
The 2019 movie garnered praise and positive reviews from
both critics and audiences – and won the Golden Lion during the 76th Venice
International Film Festival.
Joaquin received an Oscar for Best Actor for his portrayal of the Joker
(Arthur Fleck) – and the film garnered an additional Academy Award for
Best Original Score.
The sequel also screened during the Venice International Film Festival last month in September,
where it earned a 12-minute standing ovation, per Deadline.
On Rotten Tomatoes, the movie currently holds an audience score of 31% and a critic score of 32%
However, audiences have since taken to X after the movie released in theaters on Friday – and shared their opinions on the sequel,
which features musical sequences.
One fan penned, ‘Joaquin Phoenix don’t deserve this.
what happened to the script?’ while another added,
‘is it that bad,’ followed by a crying face emoji.
‘Ironically I feel that a musical, if done well, could have been a good choice.
It’d show how much of an unreliable narrator Fleck is,’ one typed.
‘But with some original songs, that keep everything vague, not just covers.
Also when I heard of the ending I snorted fr.’
A social media user wrote, ‘Stop making sequels as musicals if the original wasn’t a musical.’
‘Maybe he [Phillips] only had an hour long movie, and decided to randomly add musical scenes
to fill the runtime,’ one penned.
‘Joker downfall really needs to be studied,’ another shared, along with
a monkey staring out a window.
One fan said, ‘the movie sucks. i had to walk out of the cinema,’ while another penned,
‘After years of disagreement….*Joker 2 releases* Critics [shaking hands] Audience.’
The sequel is projected to only rake in less that $50 million in the domestic box office during the entirety of
opening weekend, per The Hollywood Reporter
However, audiences have since taken to X after the movie released in theaters on Friday – and shared their opinions
over the sequel, which was also a musical
‘Ironically I feel that a musical, if done well, could have been a good choice.
It’d show how much of an unreliable narrator Fleck is,’ one typed
‘Joker downfall really needs to be studied,’ another shared, along
with a monkey staring out a window
‘That’s way below what we expected,’ one wrote in regards to the current Rotten Tomatoes scores.
‘People are saying this is the worst sequel ever.’
A fan explained, ‘yea this film was bad. it was
pretentious and dull. has the aesthetic of an arthouse film without the substance.’
‘It also insults the audience’s intelligence. the songs were also underwhelming too.
they shouldn’t have let this escape to theaters.’
One shared, ‘The audience that loved the first movie
is not the same audience running to see musicals. This was a gigantic mistake
from step 1.’
During an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Phillips discussed
whether he would be interested in making a third Joker film or a movie centered around Gaga’s character.
‘It’s not really where this movie is headed for me. I feel like my time in the DC
Universe was these two films.’
Ahead of the movie’s release, Lady Gaga also dropped an accompanying album titled Harlequin on September 27.
Joker: Folie À Deux has been branded the ‘most disappointing follow-up to the Oscar-winning
movie’ by critics, as they cast doubt on Lady Gaga’s ‘thin’ role in the film following its release on Friday.
‘That’s way below what we expected,’ one wrote in regards to the current
Rotten Tomatoes scores. ‘People are saying this is the worst sequel ever’
A fan explained, ‘yea this film was bad. it was pretentious and dull.
has the aesthetic of an arthouse film without the substance’
The ‘bleak’ sequel, has also received a tepid reception from fans, with some
claiming Lady Gaga’s career could be at risk.
While the same director Todd Phillips was back in the hot seat, critics have said the sequel
is just a ‘repeat’ of the first hit but with an added musical twist.
Most critics have said Todd failed to use Gaga correctly in the movie and claimed she was only bought in for the musical aspect of it.
While the majority of critics say Joker: Folie À
Deux didn’t live up to expectations, others have dubbed
the movie ‘bold’ and ‘brilliant.’
Daily Mail’s Brian Viner commended the move as ‘bold’ and ‘brilliant’ but said it lacked any thrill.
The Independent’s Geoffrey Macnab said: ‘Today Joker
is best remembered as one of the most subversive and original films of the last decade, while its hugely anticipated
sequel is just as bleak and formally daring as its predecessor’.
Meanwhile, the Irish Times’ Donald Clarke gave the
movie just two stars but credited Phillips’ work for making a sequel following the first movie’s $1billion success.
Financial Times critic Danny Leigh said although Gaga worked
hard to bump the ratings up in the sequel, Phillips appeared to have no idea
what to do with her.
Giving a three star rating, The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw claimed
the movie proves ‘claustrophobic’ and ‘repetitive.’
During an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Phillips discussed whether he
would be interested in making a third Joker film or a movie centered around
Gaga’s character; Phillips, Gaga and Phoenix
seen in September in L.A.
Joker: Folie À Deux has been branded the ‘most disappointing follow-up to the Oscar-winning movie’
by critics, as they cast doubt on Lady Gaga’s ‘thin’ role in the film following its release
on Friday; seen in September in London
The Times’ Kevin Maher wrote: ‘The director Todd
Phillips said there would be no follow-up to the original, but he
changed his mind and the result is a derivative musical’
‘This might be the most disappointing follow-up to an Oscar-winning performance since Anthony Hopkins reworked his silky
and terrifying Dr Lecter from for the campy, kitschy.’
Along with Lady Gaga and Joaquin Phoenix, other stars that had appeared
in the sequel include Brendan Gleeson, Catherine
Keener, Zazie Beatz and Steve Coogan.
Joker: Folie à Deux has faced additional backlash from fans as
they have claimed that Gaga is running the risk of losing her acting career.
Lady GagaJoaquin Phoenix
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Forget tiny chihuahuas peeping out of handbags à la Paris Hilton, or Taylor Swift with her adorably grumpy looking Scottish Fold
cats who have become celebrities in their own right.
When it comes to capturing my heart with a cuddly creature,
it’s the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, 75, who’s reinvented himself as the internet’s favourite granddad
with his wholesome life with a menagerie of animals, who has won me over.
The jewel in the crown of his ever-growing brood of
beasts is Schnelly the pig, who joined the family in April last year, making the star the latest in a long
list of celebrities to realise the joys of a porky pal – along with Ariana Grande, Miley Cyrus and the Beckhams.
I’m completely smitten with the cuteness of pet pigs. I lose hours scrolling through Instagram, looking at pictures of furry little
piglets with pretty pink snouts.
There are 255,000 Insta posts with the hashtag #petpig and I’ve probably looked at all
of them. Then there’s the 286,000 posts hashtagged #micropig and I’d hazard a guess
that I’ve seen all of those too.
So I’m rather excited to discover that there’s a pig farm
less than an hour from central London, where I can find out
what it’s really like to have a porcine pet.
While celebrities might get away with turning up to photoshoots,
TV appearances and fancy restaurants with all manner of furry creatures,
will I get the same reception if I take a pig for a stroll down the
high street?
Samantha Rea from London strolling down the high street in Old Amersham with Astrid, a 16 month old micro pig
The pair stopped off at The Griffin, a private members club, bistro and bakery,
for some refreshments after a trot down the high street
Samantha Rea spent time at the Kew Little Pig Farm in Amersham, Buckinghamshire to learn how to muck out
and care for pigs
Learning how to feed hay to the pigs did make Samantha question whether it’s easier to stick with
a dog or cat as a pet
I’m hoping the Kew Little Pigs Farm will help me find out.
It specialises in miniature pigs, which pig lovers can buy or
‘adopt’ to visit on the farm.
Then there are the day trips. The Piggy Pet & Play package lets visitors ‘pet, brush, groom, watch and play with the pigs.’ The Pig Enthusiast package
can include putting sun cream on the pigs, and the Comprehensive Guide to
Pig Keeping teaches you everything you need to know before buying your own micro pig.
Clearly I must go there!
And so I head to Amersham, in Buckinghamshire, where Kew Little Pigs Farm
is based.
When I arrive, owner Olivia Mikhail looks slightly
concerned at the sight of my Converse trainers and
cropped jeans, a combination that will surely result in splattered shins.
However, Olivia has no idea just how prepared I actually am,
because I have packed not only knee high wellies for my time on the farm, but also my
designer heels, for my glimpse into what life’s like as
a pig-owning celebrity.
Arnold Schwarzenegger with Schnelly the pig, who joined his menagerie of pets in April last year
Ariane Grande and Pete Davidson adopted Piggy Smallz during their short-lived romance in 2018
Comedian John Bishop was left devastated when his rescue
pig Milo passed away last year, describing him as the ‘heartbeat’ of the family
Paris Hilton started the chihuahuas in handbags craze, and is also the proud
owner of Princess Piglette
George Clooney, Paris Hilton, Miley Cyrus, Jonathan Ross, Charlotte Church and
even the Beckhams have all kept pigs as pets over the past decade or so, while more
recently Ariane Grande and Pete Davidson adopted Piggy Smallz during their short-lived romance.
Comedian John Bishop gave rescue pig Milo a home for more than a decade and was devastated when the pet passed away, saying
he was the ‘heartbeat’ of the family.
They’re as much a celeb accessory as oversized sunglasses – which is
why I’ve brought those with me too.
But first things first. Before I spend an afternoon taking a petite pig for a stroll, I sit down with Olivia in the
Kew Little Pigs cafe, to complete the theory side of the
Comprehensive Guide to Pig Keeping.
It turns out there is quite a lot of admin involved in owning a pig,
alongside a rule book thicker than Harry Potter.
Who knew that you needed a license to walk a pig? Who would imagine
that you can’t feed pigs your kitchen leftovers? It used to be common practice, but has been banned because of the
risk of diseases such as African swine flu and foot and
mouth disease that can be spread by consuming contaminated pork
products.
Who can fathom having to fill out a form to drive your pig from one place to another – again for
disease control reasons?
After all the admin and mucking out, Samantha was delighted to move on to the fun part –
cuddles with Astrid
Samantha found that mucking out the pig pen was actually a lot more civilised than picking up poo on a dog walk
Samantha came armed with wellies for her day at the farm, but made sure to keep it glamorous
After swapping her flimsy trainers for wellies, Samantha felt equipped to tackle her day on the farm
And who would guess that pigs have to have their own house?
I mean, it’s only got to be about the size of shed, but it’s actually a law to uphold welfare standards.
I suppose none of this is an issue for celebrities who have people to do paperwork for them – not to
mention acres of space – but to me it seems insurmountable.
Olivia senses that my dreams are crushed and attempts
to reassure me: ‘It’s really not that much paperwork.
Look, filling in this form would take two minutes.’
Moving on from the theory, we head outside for the practical part of
the course. Here, in large pens, are lots of little pigs which
are super cute, so this makes me happy.
I am given a rake to claw the pig poo into a dustpan.
Both the rake and the dustpan have long handles and I like the distance this creates.
It is certainly more civilised than picking up poo in a flimsy plastic bag on a dog walk.
Clearing away pig excrement with proper equipment which allows you
to maintain a civilised, and sanitary, distance makes
me wonder if – despite the paperwork – pigs might just trump dogs.
Samantha was worried she might attract stares walking Astrid through town, but nobody batted
an eyelid
Samantha treated herself to a hot chocolate while Astrid
enjoyed some pig treats
Samantha swapped her wellington boots for high heels to glam up to take her pet pig down to the town centre for lunch
Taking a pig out for a walk is trickier than it looks, and a lot of
treats are required to keep things on track
Next, Olivia asks if I would like to feed the pigs. Yes of
course! She hands me some hay that’s stuffed inside what’s basically
a large fishnet stocking, the size of Santa’s sack. The hay sticks out of all the holes, and it’s my job to hang up
the sack in the pig pen, so the pigs can eat from it.
This sounds easy. Only it’s not. ‘NOT THERE! NO! IT’S GOT TO BE
HIGHER! TIE IT ROUND THE POST! NO! NOT LIKE THAT!
NO!’
I feel like a failing contestant on The Crystal Maze, only
this is worse because I’m now surrounded by hungry pigs
and I cannot see a panic button.
I swear there was something on Netflix where murdered
bodies were dumped in a pig pen, to be eaten by the pigs.
Or maybe the bodies were eaten alive. This definitely happens all the time,
according to TV, and now I don’t even know which is worse, the prospect of being felled by pigs eating through my ankles, or the pressure to hang the hay
correctly.
It is like my challenge on The Crystal Maze has been especially devised to amuse the inhabitants of hell.
I find myself grateful to make it out of the pig pen alive.
Surely I get to do celebrity stuff now?
Celebrities’ pigs are as stylish as their owners, so I’ve sourced
designer outfits for my trottered chums. I’d initially looked at diamond chokers by Dior, because what pig wouldn’t want a diamond collar?
But apparently pigs are happier in harnesses, which fit around the body, not just the neck.
I hunt for a harness that an A-lister might pick for their pig, and I am delighted to discover
a pink leopard print harness with a matching lead.
It is by Urban Pup, a pet fashion brand whose website I’ve now spent
more time on than all the other websites in my search history.
There’s the zebra print, the cheetah print, the pink argyle; the florals, the tartans, and the hearts.
There’s the range inspired by Legally Blonde and the pet carrier that resembles a pink Chanel handbag.
Then there are the socks…
I turn up at the farm with more outfits for the pigs than I have for myself.
I guess this is what it’s like being a pig parent: #SELFLESS
I am introduced to Astrid, a 16 month old micro piglet who’ll fulfill my dreams
of walking a pig. I show Olivia all the outfits I’ve
brought from Urban Pup and she picks out a pink
tartan harness with a matching lead.
I want to dress up all the pigs but Olivia says no. That’s
OK. There is probably some law about only one pig at a time looking this stunning.
When Astrid and I are dressed, we head into Old Amersham.
It’s a pretty market town in the Chilterns with cobbled streets and quaint white buildings with
beams.
So how will locals feel about a pig on a lead?
I imagine I may be sternly spoken to by a member of the Women’s Institute.
However, it turns out that Old Amersham is perfectly
au fait with celebrity antics, given that Poirot, Midsomer Murders and Four
Weddings and a Funeral have all been filmed there.
On my pig keeping course I have learnt that pigs never poo where they
eat, sleep or socialise, because they’re very clean, so from day one,
without any training, a pig will go outside to poo.
I am surprised then, as I arrive in Old Amersham, to find that Astrid has done her business in her carry box.
I try not to think about this, as I hold her lead.
Our first stop is the Amersham Museum. I’m not a massive fan of
walking around looking at things, but I hear the museum homes a
Tudor dining table that visitors are welcome to sit
at. It is about lunchtime, so I’m hopeful I’ll
be served a Tudor banquet. I quite fancy a tankard
of wine and a bit of wild boar.
Unfortunately, Astrid does not, and so, despite being welcomed by museum
director Briony, we leave pretty much as soon as we arrive.
We go for a stroll instead, but I have to scatter pig
food pellets to coax Astrid along the pavement.
I guess celebrities get their assistants to walk ahead,
trailing treats to entice the pet pigs in the right direction.
Hard at work: Writer Samantha Rea tried the Comprehensive
Guide to Pig Keeping, which teaches you everything you need to
know before buying your own micro pig
However, doing it without an assistant, I
find myself thinking that it’s definitely easier to walk a dog.
Celebrity life is about lounging in luxurious surroundings,
so Astrid and I head to The Griffin, a private members club, bistro and
bakery, that’s pretty much the Soho House
of Amersham.
In the beamed building that dates back to the 17th century, there are gorgeous leather sofas
and cosy cushions. However, I have learnt on my pig keeping course that pigs
are happiest alfresco, so Astrid and I take a seat on the astro-turf terrace, beneath a pretty parasol that wouldn’t be out of place in a Cotswolds shoot for Tatler.
It is here, as we relax like A-listers,
that Astrid and I are at our happiest. As I sip a coffee and eye-up a chocolate brownie (I’m being a celebrity, remember, I don’t actually eat these things), Astrid puts her
trotters up on the seat beside me and enjoys a few pig food pellets.
Clearly this is our natural environment, so it’s probably just a matter of time before Astrid is snapped up by a celebrity to live life first
class.
But for now, Astrid must mooch back to the mud, and I must head home to
wash pig poo off my wellies.
I am chuffed to bits to have spent an afternoon with Astrid, but as I think it all over, on the
train back to Marylebone, I know that I’ll never keep a pig as a
pet.
Aside from all the legal red tape, my lack of space in London, and the trickiness of trying to take a pig
for a walk, there’s always the fear that the micro
pig might turn out to be not so tiny after all.
I’ve seen headlines about 4 ounce “teacup” pigs growing bigger than a bear, and frankly I find it terrifying.
So I’ll leave the pet pigs to the celebrities.
LondonParis Hilton
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Joaquin Phoenix’s wife Rooney Mara blushed as he fixed her dress on the
red carpet at Academy Museum Gala in LA on Saturday.
For the star-studded affair located at the Academy Museum of
Motion Pictures, Rooney, 39, joined her dashing husband Joaquin, 49.
The couple – who ‘secretly wed’ recently – looked
happier than ever as they posed for sweet snaps on the carpet.
Rooney looked out of this world as she slipped into
a floral sheer dress and flashed her underwear underneath.
The glitzy gala had no shortage of A-list star power as they were also joined by the likes of supermodel Kendall Jenner as well as fan-favorite actress
and newly minted billionaire Selena Gomez.
Joaquin Phoenix’s, 49, wife Rooney Mara, 39, blushed as he fixed her dress on the red carpet at Academy Museum Gala in LA
on Saturday
Rooney and Joaquin shared a sweet red carpet moment
Joaquin just confirmed Rooney (born Patricia) was his ‘wife’ during an episode of Sam Fragaso’s podcast Talk Easy, last month.
Mara welcomed their second child in June, and she dressed her post-baby body gorgeous
sheer gown.
Phoenix (born Bottom) and the two-time Oscar nominee are also parents of four-year-old son River Mara Phoenix named after Joaquin’s big brother who
died, age 23, from an overdose of morphine and cocaine on Halloween 1993.
‘I love it. I love it so much. I think it’s
the best thing in the world,’ Rooney gushed of motherhood
on the LaunchLeft Podcast last year.
‘It doesn’t feel like a two-actor house because I didn’t
work for the first three and a half years we were together.
Basically since we’ve been together, I only worked
one or two times and one was really small and short. It feels like
a creative household, we’re constantly talking about creative things.’
The Phoenixes originally met in 2012 playing lovers Theodore Twombly and Catherine Klausen on the LA set of Spike Jonze’s AI
rom-com Her, but they didn’t start dating until after her 2016 split from her Discovery
director Charlie McDowell.
The acting couple went on to co-star in Garth Davis’ 2018 Biblical drama Mary Magdalene and Gus Van Sant’s 2018 comedy Don’t Worry, He
Won’t Get Far on Foot.
For the star-studded affair located at the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures, Rooney joined her dashing husband Joaquin
The couple – who ‘secretly wed’ recently – looked happier than ever as they posed for sweet snaps on the carpet
Rooney looked out of this world as she slipped into a floral sheer dress and flashed her
underwear underneath
Mara welcomed their second child in June, and
she dressed her post-baby body gorgeous sheer gown
Rooney posed for a sweet photo with Amy Adams inside the ceremony
The acting couple originally met in 2012 playing lovers Theodore Twombly and
Catherine Klausen on the LA set of Spike Jonze’s AI rom-com Her (pictured), but they didn’t start dating until after her 2016
split from her Discovery director Charlie
McDowell
Joaquin just confirmed Rooney (born Patricia) was his ‘wife’ during an episode of Sam
Fragaso’s podcast Talk Easy
Rooney and Joaquin also co-narrated Chris Delforce’s 2018 vegan documentary Dominion as well as co-producing Alex Lockwood’s 2022 pandemic documentary The End
of Medicine and Jonah Hill’s 2022 therapy documentary Stutz.
Mara told Deadline in February that she and Phoenix (born Bottom)
are still ‘all committed to’ co-starring in Pawel Pawlikowski’s upcoming
film The Island but ‘it doesn’t look like that will happen this year.’
But first, audiences can catch the New York native as waitress Julia in Alonso Ruizpalacios’ Times Square kitchen drama
La Cocina, which hits limited US theaters October 25
and UK theaters December 26.
Meanwhile, the Grammy winner scored a $20M paycheck to reprise his
Oscar-winning role as psychopathic comedian Arthur Fleck/Joker in Todd Phillips’ $190M-budget
sequel Joker: Folie à Deux, which hits US/UK theaters this Friday.
Deadline projected the 138-minute demented jukebox musical to earn $140M worldwide opening weekend including
$55M-$60M at 4K US theaters.
It also features Lady Gaga, Zazie Beetz, Brendan Gleeson, Catherine Keener,
Jacob Lofland, and Harry Lawtey.
Thus far, Joker: Folie à Deux has a 60% critic approval rating (out of 58 reviews) on Rotten Tomatoes.
The 1981-set first film Joker made history in 2019 as
the highest-grossing R-rated film of all time, amassing $1.079B at the global
box office despite mixed reviews.
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